Excessive Dryfire is Harmful to Your Health

Tanny City, KS – After 4 weeks of dryfire to perfect his match skills, Tad Hopperson, a USPSA C class competitor, noticed something was a little “off” about himself.

Practicing Dryfire, Hard

“I’ve been practicing hard for a while now, but I began noticing something was wrong. Not only was I noticing writhing pain in my hands and forearms, but I lost an unhealthy amount of weight. The living room was getting dirty, the laundry was stacking up, I hadn’t eaten in a week.  Even my appliances all seemed to have broken, and I didn’t notice.”  Hopperson had missed days of work at a time, too.

Apparently, his dryfire regimen included not only gun handling drills.  In addition to normal drills, Tad also spends more than 20 minutes a day holding an electric sander.  “I think I’m really starting to build up some callouses now” said Tad, his hands visibly infected.

Family Followups

The Feedramp reached out to Tad’s significant other to ask for her statement. As of this writing, no response has been made by Mrs. Hopperson.  She is presumed to have died from boredom.  Other family members were concerned.  “I once saw him literally eat a book about dryfire,” said his brother.  “I mean, it’s great he’s getting the extra fiber and all.  We all just wish he found cheaper books to eat!”  Tad had been eating nothing but copies of “Training to Win”.

Training to Win
The Meal Book
Update 2/27/17

Mrs. Hopperson finally responded via email stating “Perhaps had Tad practiced more wetfire, he wouldn’t be in this predicament.” No further statements have been made.

Nom de Plume

Started shooting guns with my daddy. Shoot a lot of guns now. Hope to teach my grandson how to shoot one day.