Barrypills, AR – Outside a strip club named “The Meat Curtain”
IDPA has announced a new Every Day Carry (EDC) division.
“We see that EDC is important to our members. EDC is a part of the dynamics on the street. It’s imperative that we begin a series of training evolutions designed to test your kit out.” Explained an anonymous Tiger Team member.
IDPA is taking it to 11 by having a civilian and Law Enforcement (LEO) EDC division.
IDPA members will solve the following issues in an enhanced Course of Problems (CoP) without a Written Stage Brief (WSB)
- Repair items with your multi-tool
- Open a package with your knife
- Quickly and Efficiently notice the current time.
- Pay for a lattee or a bag of pork rinds
- Shoot Criminals with your pocket gun
- Take important notes, in the rain
- Ascend the stairs, illuminate the area with your tack tickle fleshlight
- Utilize your kit’s Zips to detain the subject for LEO
- Toss your drop wallet at a target
- Score hits on paper targets with your Karambits
Shooters not able to ascend the stairs will be able to take No Penalty Mikes.
Law Enforcement Only Division
LEO members will have the opportunity to test their full kit in real world scenarios such as:
- Taze the hippy
- Pepper Spray the Hippy Continuing to yell “AM I BEING DETAINED?”
- Throat Punch the Soveriegn Citizen
- Kick in door (a) and shoot all dog shaped targets
- Properly steal the drugs
- Properly plant the drugs
- Kill the Dog
- Kill the Dog
- Use the flashlight to locate the hidden dog, kill the dog
- And much more!
“We’re super excited about this development. Them 3 gunners have that deal where you can switch between 3 weapon systems on a course of fire – we’re taking that idea to the max and having like 10 switches in a single stage!”
The team member, in between dropping change down a stripper’s g-string, explained secret plans to further develop this idea.
“We’re gonna do a prepper division where you clip coupons, get great deals on food you can store. Purify fucking water. Operate the small block chevy’s pull start kit for a generator. Deploy the solar iphone charger. All from within the fault lines, behind cover, in a concealment garment.”
The problem seems to be scoring.
“Look..we’re not known for our genius here. We may just choose not to score this. If you bring your kit..your real EDC..you win automatically”
Things are looking great for IDPA in 2017-2018.