IDPA Patch Propels Man to Championship

Some say it was just a patch. Others say it was the equivalent of injecting anabolic steroids into your trigger finger with a 23 gauge marijuana needle.

The IDPA book is clear on the use of performance enhancing textile adornments.

The founders always stood firm on this rule, since IDPA’s inception.
The rule is as follows:

Rule 8.9.3.1.6.9.10

Concealment garments may not be modified with ANY of the following:

  1. plastic zip ties
  2. sexual aids
  3. wire, bamboo
  4. metal
  5. Styrofoam
  6. fiberglass
  7. recycled cardboard
  8. new cardboard
  9. glitter
  10. human remains
  11. food products
  12. Viagra
  13. Cialis
  14. a rolled up copy of Out Magazine
  15. or any similar material that would stiffen the garment or pockets.

Patches may not be placed on concealment garment pockets. Use of standard laundry starch, seminal fluid, or glazed donut drippings is acceptable.

At press time, the individual that placed the patch on his pocket was in Internet Police custody awaiting extradition to Arkansas; where he will be judged by the Founder’s next of kin.

They will be attempting to determine where the pocket flap ends and the pocket begins.

The Feed Ramp has learned that the accused was also forced to give back the $0.37 participation ribbon and return six of the high fives he received after the match.

It appears that justice has prevailed.