Man Agonizes Over Multi-tool Purchase

Galveston, Texas – Chris Shittcock, 24, is going to buy another multi-tool.

“I sure like a Leatherman, but they’re anti gun!”

Shittcock enjoys buying and carrying multi-tools as part of his EDC that he has never and hopefully will never use.

“Sometimes I like to open a bag of pork rinds with my $1000 custom folder, other than that I dont like to do much work for any fuckers”

Shittcock really enjoys a good multi-tool.  Bonus points if the multi-tool comes with random gun smith tools.

“I like to know I can adjust the front site post of an AR or scrape some carbon from a gas key after fixing my nephews bike”

Shitcock’s favorite thing?  Reading forum posts where hundreds of people discuss their multi-tools.  Then buying the one he “Feels best about”, ignoring the forum posts all together.

“I could just buy a multi-tool.  Carry it.  Replace it when it breaks.  But i enjoy spending a week torturing myself over buying a new one.  I like to go through this 4-6 times per year at least.  It’s cost me 2 marriages, but fuck it”

Shittcock says he really enjoys being the only person in a group with a multi-tool.  “Nothing beats the feeling of helping the unprepared open a box or work a screw – they just understand I’m superior to them in every way”