SARMs Race: IKEA Shooting Team gets JACKED and TANNED

Dumpwater, Florida –  We meet up with IKEA Shooting team owner/gunsmith/personal trainer/life coach Shane Akite at the Planet Fitness in Dumpwater, FL, here is the scene – some old overweight shooters with used up bodies trying to get ready for the 2017 shooting season and one young attractive female shooter who looks great in a shooting blouse.

Building guns, bodies, and minds…

Shane just finished coaching a few of his top open shooters through a brutal training session. The bulk of today’s workout was spent grinding out 3 rep sets on the thigh adductor machine.

As they hobble out of the gym and climb into Shane’s lifted Mall Crawler, IKEA open shooter, Skip Thompson can be heard grumbling about “his God damn knees” again. “I hit a 3 rep PR today of 210 pounds on the thigh adductor machine, but I’m really feeling it in my liver. I should get that checked out”, he says.

Changing the sport!

Back at Shane’s shop we sit down to discuss how the IKEA Shooting Team is revolutionizing action pistol. Shane says, “Everyone likes to modify their guns, or build full custom guns; people spend ridiculous amounts of money to  give themselves a perceived competitive edge. I thought, why not build a full custom shooter?” He has a point. We’ve all heard the phrase It’s the Indian not the arrow. IKEA pistols are known for their functionality, clean lines, and being stroked. Thanks to Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators as well as a host of anabolic steroids, the IKEA shooters also have well defined lines and are stroking themselves.


Contact them today

If you are interested in having a new slide stop installed on your pistol, having your grip safety pinned, or just want to know where you can score some testosterone cypionate and deca durabolin, contact the feed ramp and we can put you in touch with Shane.

Johnny F. Attpipe for The Feed Ramp

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One thought on “SARMs Race: IKEA Shooting Team gets JACKED and TANNED

  • March 6, 2017 at 12:18 pm

    Jackin Lead and gettin head!

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