Obsessively buys gear thinking it will help them win the next match. Refuses to practice. Paid for their “sponsored” shirt.
Takes four courses a month and has James Yeager on speed dial. Refuses to compete because “training scars”. Lives life in condition RED.
The Instagram Model
Every shot, every move, every well – everything, is carefully choreographed for maximum Instagram hits. Never posts a photo without using a filter.
The Sig Snob
Thinks their over-engineered, oversized DA/SA pistol is the best ever because Austrian. Foolishly buys the same gun three times because Sig releases it in a different color. Knows what “Legion” means. (Over-priced gun with shitty finish)
The most helpful (annoying) person you’ll ever meet on the range. Typically can’t hit a damn thing but is full of advice on how you can get better. Stage 5 Clinger of the gun world.
Shoots at tiny targets at a painfully slow pace. Thinks IDPA is dangerously fast paced.
Obsessively buys gear thinking it will help them win the fight in the food court. Refuses to practice. Carries enough flashlights to illuminate an NFL game.
The Nothing But A Glock
Not just a Glock, but a Glock 19 because James Yeager.
The “Because The Navy Seals”
Unable to think for him or herself. Sees what the NAVY SEALS are using so must use it too. Has zero actual knowledge of SPECOPS.
Carefully balances iPhone in one hand while doing something incredibly complicated with the other. Great source for how to videos that either cut out right when you need certain information or for an incredibly blurry shot of same.
The Eastern Bloc
Only uses weapons that the former Soviet Union used. Believes that the AR platform is unproven and unreliable. Also the source for steel case 9×18 cases that are the bane of reloaders.
The “I’m Only Doing This For My Husband / Boyfriend”
Trying desperately to please their spouse. Not really interested in guns. Would rather be anywhere else. Questionable gun handling.
The “1911 As It Was Intended”
Because that’s how JOHN MOSES BROWNING designed it, THAT’S WHY!
If you can think of another – tell us in the comments!