South Carolina – VODA Consulting, recently in the news for innovating some new shit, earned a prestigious award earlier today. The Darwin Awards Group awarded its first prehumous “Darwin Award” in a landmark decision. To our knowledge, this is the first time VODA earns an award.
VODA Earns an Award
The Darwin Award typically goes posthumously to someone who did something horribly stupid that resulted in their death. One of the most famous examples comes from 1995, when a man attached a JATO rocket to a ’67 Impala and subsequently embedded himself in a cliff wall.
In this case, VODA Consulting‘s lead (only?) instructor earned the award before actually dome-ing himself. In the group’s training videos, Lucien Black is seen performing obviously unsafe acts with a handgun. His videos are well viewed, and they have become a cult classic in autassassinophilia groups. Apparently, even non-firearms groups recognize the imminent result. If you want to watch someone push a knife through their hand or pop off a round into a neighboring shooting stall, you should follow this guy on Facebook Live.
Even to the casual observer, it’s obvious that this award went to a well deserved recipient.
Defense of Methods
Black answered the award by claiming that “shit happens when you innovate.” Apparently unaware that his likely self-demise would qualify as “shit” happening, he advocates that others also “innovate” in auto-destructive ways. While making an impromptu demonstration of his methods in the middle of a crowded hallway, Black accidentally cut one of The Feed Ramp’s interns, Brett Bunson. We didn’t particularly like Brett, but The Feed Ramp has litigation pending regarding the cleanup costs.
Possible Future Awards
It’s entirely possible that Black will be the first-ever two time Darwin Award winner. The committee might deign to bestow a second award to him in the future, depending on his chosen method of death.