Counter Protest Driving Hq, Swarez International – Jabe Swarez has been training pirate operators ever since Jesus interrupted his homicidal rampage. Swarez apparently did some illegal shit, planned to kill everyone involved, but was rudely interrupted by Jesus.
Swarez now trains to legally kill people.
For Jesus. Possibly even, with Jesus.
Counter Protest Driving is an idea Swarez came up with in late 2016, after seeing communist protesters block traffic.
Counter Protest Driving
“Basically I recommend you get a big, poundin’ ass, Chevy or Ford truck. Not a fucking hybrid. Keep a gun in your car. Lock your doors and windows. Shit people already do, except this is somehow different.”
Counter protest driving is a lot about mindset. You want to be in a car, you want to run the protesters down. You want a go bag in case you get stranded in the protest. Pack some real grey man shit too.
When asked if one should simply avoid protest routes and act with common sense vs. taking an expensive course, Swarez explained:
“You don’t get it. These commies are waging war on us. They’re training every day. Sheep dogs need to get up and train harder than them. We are fuckin’ warriors. The time for basement dwelling is over.”
Swarez was quick to monetize the idea. Training people to buy the right truck, keep a gun in the truck, and properly run people over. The plan, however great, back fired in a big way.
“Some guy in an IROC-Z came speeding through and hit me right in the cocks. I went flying about 45 feet. Dio’s Rainbow in the Dark was blaring from the IROC.” Swarez explained.
“I swear it looked like fuckin’ Joe Biden”
Swarez suffered minor injuries requiring a few days in a hospital. The incident will delay Swarez joint venture with Rod Dincus.
“We’re producing a home study DVD course on counter protest driving. With Dincus I can really leverage some marketing and rip..I mean train some Americans up.”
TFR wishes Swarez a speed recovery.